| | This story is called "Cocktail Sauce." If it were called "Cranberry Sauce", it would be part of a Beatles song, but it's not, so it's just a rather bizarre story.
The Spousal Unit and I had seafood this evening for dinner, and part of it was boiled shrimp, so she asked me to get some cocktail sauce for her. I never think about cocktail sauce, because I don't use it. So, as I needed more tea anyway, I went to the counter and asked for tea (extra ice) and after that, I asked for cocktail sauce.
They don't have any. I thought this was really strange for a seafood restaurant, but the woman at the counter said to go over by the utensils and read the sign.
I wondered if the sign would be as in Chef! and said "You Ignorant Peasant! This food is Perfect and needs no sauce", but this is a hole in the wall place, so that seemed a bit unlikely.
Sure enough, by the forks and spoons (but not the napkins, as there are paper towels on the table), there was a small sign. On the sign were the (very) basic instructions to make cocktail sauce. According to the sign, it's ketchup, fresh squeezed lemon juice, Worcester sauce and horseradish "to taste". So, I got a small cup from in front of the ketchup pump, filled it 2/3rds with ketchup, got a lemon wedge from the bowl by the sugar and sweetener, squeezed it in, added a touch of hot sauce since I didn't see any Worcester sauce (it's the same thing, really), and put in a wee bit of horseradish from a rather imposing container with a spoon too large to administer a small dosage.
I took it back to the table, stirred it up, found out there was Worcester sauce on the table, added a few drops, restirred, and pronounced it "good." (I may not have mentioned the hot sauce when I delivered it to the Spousal Unit at the table, but this is Texas, so you can put hot sauce in anything.)
The Spousal Unit did not complain. In fact, she said it was "good" and not "it's fine" which is her code for "crap." So, now I know how to make cocktail sauce. However, I'm not sure where that goes on a resume.
So, flush with victory, I actually started thinking about this, which is never a good idea. That's why now I actually have a couple of notes on this rather quirky practice.
There is no ratios or amounts given on the sign, just the ingredient list.
Luckily, I've been living surrounded by an Italian family for almost ten years, and that's often standard practice. The usual amount of any ingredient in a recipe that is explained to me is "enough", as in:
Sweetie, how much garlic do you put in your pasta sauce? "Enough."
Side-note: Why are recipes explained to me? Because very few of them are written down, they're handed down (by making you cook them as Mom watches and "critiques".) If one of the children does finally write it down, the other children immediately say it's all wrong, and nobody would make it that way, especially Mom. So, there are few Italian cookbooks that an actual Italian would claim are correct.
So, that wasn't a problem for me, but for any people without benefit of cooking from a recipe that is pretty vague, it could be more of a challenge.
Additional side-note: This is why the Spousal Unit (and siblings) could never run a restaurant. While they all produce good food in bulk on a regular basis, it's never exactly the same twice, which tends to drive sous-chefs insane. Also, what new chef wants to see a recipe that just says "Enough" by all the ingredients?
Why would a seafood restaurant have the basic ingredients for cocktail sauce, but not the actual sauce?
My first theory was that (obviously) they buy the raw ingredients for other things in bulk, so it's easier to just have people mix their own.
Ketchup? It's needed for the French Fries that come with all the fried platters. Some people would put it on the fried fish, as well (ignorant peasants.) The Spousal Unit might put it in tea, as she really likes ketchup.
Lemon? It's needed for the fish and seafood and (of course) for adding to iced tea. If you're a Yuppie, you would also squeeze it in your water, because you're now out of work and can't afford to just buy a bloody drink.
Worcester Sauce? Hmm. I'll get back to you on this one. I'm not sure they have steak on the menu, although it is a restaurant in Texas, so they could probably produce one on demand.
Horseradish? OK, I didn't think you used this on anything besides prime rib. Maybe the steak they're hiding in the back is really prime rib.
So, my new theory is that people always bitch about the cocktail sauce no matter what brand they use, so it's easier to just put the ingredients out and tell people to "roll their own."
Next time, I think I'll ask them, as it should be an interesting story. In the meantime, if you need to know how to make cocktail sauce, I can tell you. You just need enough of all the ingredients and then you stir.
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| | Posted 7/11/2009 12:32 AM - 5 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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